History in Moments
by ravel queen
Summary: The relationship of Sam and Bobby in five acts.  written for spn-j2-xmas


**Title:** History in Moments  
><strong>Characters: <strong>Sam and Bobby  
><strong>Rating:<strong> PG  
><strong>Words:<strong> ~2500  
><strong>WarningsSpoilers:** spoilers for all seasons till about 7.03  
><strong>AN**: This was written for the** spn_j2_xmas **challenge as a gift for **glimmerella**. I always felt that Show indulges a lot of Dean+Bobby interaction, but doesn't give us Sam lovers the same. And because schmoop was asked for, have self-indulgent Sam+Bobby interaction history^^.

**Summary:** The relationship of Sam and Bobby in five acts

* * *

><p>When Sam met Bobby for the first time he was 10 and afraid.<p>

It wasn't the first time they saw each other, or spent time together, but it was the first time they actually _met,_ the first time they looked at each other and thought _This is Sammy _and _This is Uncle Bobby_ instead of _This is the little Winchester and Dean's brother_ and _This is Daddy's hunter friend, who sometimes makes Dean smile._

It wasn't the first hunt Dean was allowed to go on, but the first John deemed too dangerous to leave Sam alone for. So he went to Bobby Singer, who could already hear the screaming before he saw the car. While the brothers were saying their goodbyes, John came up to him and said: "I know it's a lot to ask for, but it would be really help, if he could stay here for a few days. It's a shape-shifter and I just can't risk taking him. He can help you research, his Latin is excellent and his Greek is coming along well."

Bobby had been on a hunt shortly beforehand, that had gone arse over tits the second they arrived in the city and had resulted in him and Rufus deciding to recuperate in different states, so they didn't try to choke each other in their sleep. Also his wives death anniversary was coming up. He could imagine a hundred things he would rather do than babysit, but one look at John's tired face and one thought about the huge mountain of mainly Latin research, he for some reason agreed to do, decided for him.

Their first real days together could have had a better beginning, obviously, but after the first time he had gotten Sam to smile, because he allowed him to shirk off training so he could finish watching a documentary on wild birds and he knew it was worth it. His expertly finished translations didn't hurt either.

Years later Sam would think back to this instance and identify it as the first time he felt like he didn't belong. At the time he was mostly terrified for his father and brother, as well as feeling angry and betrayed at being left behind, as being judged _not good enough _for his family.

Because of that he didn't want to like Bobby Singer, who would just treat him like a duty or burden, who was asked to _keep an eye _on him as if he was a baby or a pet. Sam was determined to be as miserable as possible, so his father wouldn't have a place to just leave him (and maybe never come back).

But his resolve crumbled, when he saw the library and was completely gone the first time he got a proud smile for a research well done, as if his talents, his interests were just as important as fighting or archery.

After two weeks Sam was happy to see his family again, but he also knew he would miss the quiet appreciation and the books.

* * *

><p>When Sam met Bobby for the second time he was 17 and confused.<p>

After the first time was such a success, every once in a while, there would be a hunt Sam was to small to go on, or business in the area. Later research papers Bobby wanted help on and in recent years an SOS sent by Dean, when the fights had gotten so bad, that John and Sam needed a bit of time in different zip codes to cool off.

This time it was different, because instead of all of the planning being done in the time of one phone call the day before Sam, sometimes with Dean, sometimes alone, would be dropped off on his porch. This time there was paperwork and coordinating, getting a room ready and trying to get used to the fact that someone would be permanently living in his house with him for 10 months.

The reason was what had been a nearly constant fight in the Winchester household for going on 3 years, the SAT's. Sam wanted to take them. John didn't see the purpose in it. Dean just wanted to keep his brother and father from fighting for two minutes all together. Sam wanted to stay in one place during his last year of high school to study. John wanted a third hunting partner and for Sam to concentrate on his training. Dean wanted to know where his family was at all times.

In the end the only solution they could agree on and Bobby thought Flagstaff and the related incidents where the only reason John was prepared to compromise at all, was that Sam would stay at Bobby's.

So that meant he needed to prepare the house for a moody teenager. Wonderful.

But as it turned out Sam wasn't actually that moody. Or confrontational. Or anything but generally pleasant company. It shouldn't have surprised Bobby as much as it did, as he _had_ seen the boy quite regularly over the years and had always enjoyed the quiet companionship they had shared. But in general, he had felt that he had spent more time with Dean. Because while Sam was content to curl up with a book in his library, time with Dean meant training and playing Baseball and working with the cars. While he enjoyed discussing old Sumerian texts with Sam, Dean had always been the less complicated relationship, which was not helped by the fact, that Sam seemed to get more sullen and sulky as the years went by.

But living together with him showed him, that a lot of the bad moods Sam had been in where reactions to the fights he had been having with his father, which normally had happened shortly before he found himself with him. Freed from the constant arguments he was even getting through the training with minimal fuss, and while he missed his brother fiercely, he seemed happier than Bobby had seen him in years.

In the end, he was kind of sad to see him go and he never converted the room Sam had been using back into the study it had been.

Living with Bobby was not quite what he had thought. Oh, he knew he would like it more than being on the road all the time, but then he had never spend this much time in an actual house with someone other than his family. He had expected...he didn't actually know what, but it definitely wasn't what he got.

What he got was a comfortable living space, training under watchful, but not judgemental eyes, taking part in club activities, doing his studying in peace and long thoughtful discussions in the evening. Even though he missed Dean a lot, it was the happiest he could remember being.

That was what probably brought him to ask one evening after they had spent an hour talking about the roots of werewolf lore, "Do you think I should continue hunting after school ends?"

Bobby had looked at him for a long time, sighed, put down his glass and said: "I know what your father would like me to say, but honestly? I don't think it makes you happy. I don't think it makes anyone happy. It gives you a purpose, a drive and that's enough for some, but...you never choose this. I think if you want to not end up with a hole in your head in the gutter, you have to choose this life for yourself. And if you decide against it? Nobody should judge you for it."

It had been just one conversation between many, but sometimes when he curled up with Jess he would pin this moment as the one that had helped nurture the seeds for his choices that had been planted through an involved English teacher.

* * *

><p>When Sam met Bobby for the third time he was 22 and heartbroken.<p>

This time there really had been no contact between them after he left. There had always been tension between John and Bobby, especially when it came to how he treated his children, but after he made Bobby responsible for Sam's decision to go to college, it had finally erupted violently.

Bobby didn't expect the Winchester boys to walk up to his doors, sure he had closed that door, but while he missed them, he still thought he made the right choice, fighting about their futures with John, because there wasn't anyone else around doing it, giving the stubborn man a differetn perspective.

So when they walked up to him all grown up, professional, looking like real hunters (and didn't that break his heart) and asking about demons, he was happy to help. With Dean it was effortless, the combination of job, duty and easy conversation, that was their relationship restored like it was never gone. But it was harder with Sam. He looked simultaneously younger and older, like the world had finally caught up with him and he still couldn't quite believe how cruel it could be.

Because of that he did what he had always done and hoped the way he had tried to make his home into a place to just be for the two boys would still help.

Sam had always felt guilty for being the trigger for the fight between his father and Bobby which was ended by a shotgun. Mostly though he felt weary and angry and still hurting about Jessica. He didn't really think about what he would feel like seeing Bobby again, caught up as he was in finding out about demons and Meg, trying not to just hunt after his father and get _answers_.

So, meeting him again isn't a big revelation. There are no deep conversations about the past or the future, just about _now_ and _demons_ and _protection_. But afterwards, when they leave again, armed with knowledge and one enemy less, that he noticed that for the first time since his life went up in flames again he slept the whole night through.

* * *

><p>When Sam met Bobby for the fourth time he was 28 and soulless.<p>

Of course many things happened in between. John died, Sam died, Dean died, finding new friends, losing them, Sam got lost, Dean got lost, they found each other again and the world got saved. But Sam was to Bobby and Bobby was to Sam, what they had been. Sam still tried to help Bobby and got a little thrill every time a translation or research he had done earned him a smile and a gruff offer of dinner and Bobby still tried to give Sam a place where he could just curl up with a book or talk about philosophy, without feeling like it made him less.

Bobby meets Sam again, after he has mourned him, cried and mostly tried not to think about what he goes through _down there_. At that time he has spent hours feeling guilty for a lot of thing (letting it come so far, not being strong enough, not being brave enough to call Dean even though he knows they both need it).

So when Sam suddenly turned up on his yard his joy, relief and just uncomplicated happiness at seeing Sam _alive,_ made him ignore the niggling voice in the back of his head, which said that _something is wrong,_ that _Sam would want Dean to know, _that _maybe he came back wrong. _(Bobby has done many things he thinks he may never forgive himself.)

Sam goes to see Bobby, because he remembers the way it felt to be with him, to be there. Even though everything is as he thinks it should be and he still recognizes it as a _safe place,_ something is missing, his first clue that something is _not right_, but he ignores it. He tries to avoid going back after that.

* * *

><p>When Sam met Bobby for the fifth time he was 29 and broken (but otherwise ok)<p>

After Sam had got his soul back, for a while things changed, were strained. Sam still feeling guilty about everything he had done, like trying to kill Bobby (and he knows that still hurts him). Bobby feeling guilty about not noticing, that Dean could spend only a bit of time in his brothers presence and _know_, that it was obvious and he hadn't _seen_ (and he knows that still hurts him). But their relationship had always been flexible, tough at its core.

Bobby had been waiting for the other shoe to drop just as much as Dean had. Having satan in your head can only lead to disaster after all. But aside from the initial break down it had been quiet. He understood that in a way Sam was never going to be _fixed_, could hear him strangle his nightmares. Saw him look at air, talking to himself and being scared for no clear reason.

But he also saw him laugh, loud and carefree, like the floppy haired kid that had gotten _Shakespeare's Greatest Works _and _Poe: Selected Poems_ for his birthday. Saw him settling comfortably in his skin, in his height naturally not as a threat. And thought for the first time since meeting his eyes behind the shoulders of his glaring older brother _He will be just fine._

Sam has the devil in his mind. Some days he thinks he should write country or blues and make a fortune in cheesy song lines that describe his life perfectly. Generally, he has finally gotten used to the fact that he was broken in places nobody should be and was never going to be _whole_. He was fine. In a way, he can not remember being more content. And he probably was happier as a child playing with Dean or maybe living those years with Jessica. But those days are far away and tinted with the tragedy and sadness that came after as well as the ever present anger of those days.

His main problem right now is that while he is finally satisfied with his place in the world, his brother is _Not Fine_, no matter what he likes the pretend. Worse even he refuses to admit he has a problem, that the one everyone should worry about is actually Sam, who after all is quite possibly crazy.

And while he knows that it's not true, that he may be crazy, but not worse than before just different, sometimes he doubts. So when Bobby says good bye to him after those 3 weeks recuperating in the cabin, looks him in the eye and says:"Sam it's really good to finally have you back ." and smiles, he feels justified in believing in himself.

Maybe those meetings have shaped their relationship the most. Maybe other ones were more crucial and just forgotten or too painful to remember. Or maybe all of this is not as important as Sam and Bobby hanging tinsel on their little Christmas tree and arguing about Ovid's use of grammar, while Dean sits on the sofa and laughs.


End file.
